


You're an angel fallen down

by SpookyFaces



Series: Please lead me to the Promised Land [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Depression, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 03:10:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10982124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyFaces/pseuds/SpookyFaces
Summary: Sometimes Tyler's demons become unbearably loud and powerful. He can't fight them back.But his Josh can.Josh always will.A work from series based on fic "My songs know what you did in the winter."





	You're an angel fallen down

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey! Remember me?  
> Basically,I've decided to make series based on fic "My songs know what you did in the winter."  
> You can comment any suggestions or wishes you'd want to see/read and I'll gladly write them.
> 
> This work takes place somewhere between 34 and 35 chapter of MSKWYDIWT (wow, that sounds even worse than Welcome To The Black Parade's abbreviator.)
> 
>  
> 
> TW, stay safe guys!

Pink-haired boy kicked off his shoes in the hallway and threw his bag somewhere behind him on the floor. He quietly walked into the living room, trying not to wake Tyler up. He knew the boy would probably be sleeping at the moment. Tyler spent a lot of time sleeping in the last couple of days and to be honest, Josh was glad. It meant the boy's head was clean from dark thoughts, at last for couple of hours. He peeked into their bedroom and realized the bed was empty. Josh knitted his brows together. That's when he heard soft sounds coming out of Brendon's music room. He slowly approached the door,which was open. It was strange, because Brendon never left the doors opened, he hated opened doors and nobody really understood why. Josh leaned on the doorframe and examined the room. 

He saw Tyler, bent over the keyboard, his fingers running over the keys and creating beautiful melody. Josh's heart missed a beat. Tyler hasn't touched his keyboard in months. He tried to stay as quiet as possible not to scare his fragile boyfriend, who had no idea Josh was watching him. The room filled up with Tyler's quiet, shaky, sad but soothing voice.

_"Open the slits in your face and start your day  
You don't have much time to make your slits look just right." _

Josh tried really hard not to gasp from surprise. He hadn't heard Tyler's voice in a really long time and now it felt like it was the first time he saw him singing. Something twisted in pink-haired boy's chest.

_I'm in your mind_  
I'm singing  
I'm in your mind  
I'm singing la-da la-da la-da da.. 

Something was wrong. Josh stared at his boyfriend, literally examining every inch of him. Tyler's skin was too pale. His hands were shaking too hard. His knees were barely holding his weight. His eyes were distant.. Oh.

Oh,no.

_Look in the mirror and ask your soul if you're alright  
Put on the glitter that your soul hides behind. _

Suddenly, Josh couldn't breath. The realization hit him. He shook his head and literally bolted to Brendon's and Ryan's bathroom,that was located next to the music room. He switched on the lights and started rummaging in the cabinet. His hands were trembling and things were falling down on the floor, but he couldn't care less. His fingers curled around the small,orange bottle. He grabbed what he was looking for and stared down at it.

_Medicine: Halcion  
Patient: George Ryan Ross. _

Sleeping pills. Empty bottle of sleeping pills. The bottle,which was full this morning. 

"No,no,no.." - Josh dropped the bottle and run back to the music room. Tyler has stopped playing. He was sitting on his knees and staring at the keyboard. His eyes were barely open, Josh could see his eyelids were getting to heavy for the boy to lift.

"Tyler?!" - Josh fell down on his knees near his boyfriend and grabbed the boy's shoulders. Tyler didn't even flinch (even though it was really easy to scare Tyler, he would get scared every time Brendon sneezed.) 

"Tyler, hey, look at me." - Josh cupped the smaller boy's face and turned his face to the side. "Do you hear me?!"

Tyler nodded lazily, blinking slowly.

"Oh shit. Tyler, What-How many did you take?!" - Josh shouted, anxiety eating him alive. Tyler shrugged and closed his eyes, leaning on the boy's chest. "Hey, no, no don't close your eyes, Ty! Fuck."

Josh swooped the thin boy into his arms and carried him to the bathroom. He sat Tyler down on the cold floor and kneeled beside him.

"Listen to me, Tyler you need to stay awake for me, okay?!" - Josh lifted the toilet seat, holding Tyler's upper back with one hand.

"He di'dn't st'op scr'eamin'g.." - Tyler whispered, his head lolling to the side.

"I know, I know, baby." - Josh's eyes started stinging from tears. He dragged Tyler near the toilet and used one hand to open his mouth. "It's gonna hurt, Ty."

Josh shoved two fingers into his boyfriend's throat. In a second, the whole house filled up with gagging sounds. Tyler's fingers dig Josh's skin as he vomited unstoppably. 

"Yes, like that. You're doing good,baby." - Josh was rubbing circled on Tyler's back, holding the boy close to his body. Tears spilled from Tyler's eyes as he spat and puked. 

After what felt like an eternity, Tyler's breathing steadied and there was nothing left in his stomach. His let out a shaky sigh and leaned back in Josh's touch.

"Ty?" - Josh asked quietly. Tyler sniffled quietly.

Josh breathed out with relief. He lifted his hands and flushed the toilet. 

"Come on, we need to get up." - He whispered to Tyler.

"I ca'n't.." - The boy whispered. His eyes were closed and his body was shaking violently.

"It's okay, I've got you.." - Josh slid his arms around the boy's waist and picked him up. "I've got you, Ty."

He slowly carried Tyler into their bedroom and laid the boy down. He laid beside him, locking the boy into his embrace and burying his nose in the crook of his neck.

"I am sorry.." - He heard a broken whisper.

"You wanted to leave me.." - Josh whispered back. He felt tears wetting his cheeks. He felt vulnerable, useless..

"I wanted.. him to.. shut up.." 

Josh let out a quiet sob and buried his face deeper into Tyler's hair.

"Please don't cry.." - Tyler whispered.

"I'm-I got s-so scared.. I nearly l-lost you." - Josh was sobbing. "What w-would I do then? Have you th-thought about that?"

"I am.. so sorry.. Please, don't.. hate me." 

Josh was not sure he still had anything left from his heart, but here it was, sinking and hurting again.

"I love you, Tyler. I-I would never hate you.. I just- I can't live without you. I don't want to.." - Josh cracked. 

The room filled up with silence once again.

"Don't let me be gone.." - Tyler whispered. In a minute, Josh felt his body relaxing and heard Tyler's deep breaths getting slower and slower. He fell asleep.

That's when Josh finally let out the sobs he was still holding. His body wrecked from sobs as he clutched on Tyler harder. 

He was useless, weak.. He couldn't help Tyler. he tried, God knew he tried. He was always trying. But it was too hard. Tyler's mind was too powerful, too strong. Josh wasn't enough to defeat it. Images of Tyler's motionless,limp body were still crawling back to Josh's vision. He doubted he would ever get rid of them. Everything was hurting..

He heard the front door shutting, approaching footsteps and in a second Brendon's head appeared in the doorframe.

"Psst. J? We got some pie from bakery." - Brendon whispered. His eyes went wide when he saw tear paths in his friend's cheek. "Josh?!"

Josh sat up and wiped the tears with a sleeve of his hoodie.

"Josh, what happened?!" - Brendon asked, his voice full of concern.

Josh shook his head and sniffled quietly.

"Um, Josh? Why is my medicine all scattered in the bathroom? And where-oh my God, where are the sleeping pills?" - They heard Ryan's confused voice coming from the bathroom.

Brendon's breath hitched as he stared into his friend's eyes. The silence lasted for almost a minute, before Brendon spoke up again.

"Ty? " - He asked quietly. 

Josh nodded, new wave of sobs breaking through his facade.

"Oh, fuck.." - Brendon whispered. He appeared near the boy in a second and threw his arms around Josh's trembling body. "Shh, it's okay. He's okay.. It's going to be fine.."

"I can't l-lose him.. I c-can't.."

"I know, I know, buddy." - Brendon rocked him back and forth. He met Ryan's eyes, who had just stepped into the room. The other boy registered everything in a second. His face filled up with pain and distress as he cursed quietly. 

"It's okay, J. We've got you.. We've got both of you."


End file.
